In order to avoid getting into the controversy about the shifting definition of perversity, I refer here only to sexuality in which symbolism predominates over authenticity and in which hate, fear, humiliation, envy, and guilt (rather than love and tenderness) permeate the sexual act. Hence I am writing about the sexual relations of perverse couples that are comprised of immature, symbolic reenactments of some parent-child trauma, and whose sex is replete with rituals of punishment, revenge, degradation, appeasement, submission, and defiance—not about here-and-now adult dyads between mature and independent people.
Perverse couples play sexual games all the time, but their games are not truly therapeutic. They become swingers, compulsively swapping partners with other couples; they cross-dress with one another and with other couples; they play dominance and submission games, using such various paraphernalia as black leather belts, whips, and chains; they have sex in public places, in trains, and in airplanes; they engage in indiscriminate orgies; and they will experiment with threesomes, and even with using dogs or farm animals as objects. These games are gratifying to many of their players in much the way that drinking a glass of whiskey may be gratifying— but they aren’t therapeutic: Like whiskey, they have side effects and are ultimately toxic to the body.
The following games are variations of some of the common themes of perverse couples, but with twists designed to bring about insight, resolve perverse fixations, and facilitate a more profound, authentic form of sexuality and relating.
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