The shakes
«I get the shakes. It seems silly. I’m not shaking. You can’t see it. But I am shaking. Shaking inwardly. Horrible. Demands my attention. So I can’t listen to what people say. It’s all inward. They don’t know I am shaking.
‘Sometimes, just sometimes, I do shake outwardly. Feel such a fool. Pass someone a cup of tea. The cup rattles on the saucer. The spoon jigs about as if to fall on the floor. Feel a fool. And feeling a fool makes it worse. »
The over-alertness of our brain cells plays tricks on the muscles they control. The feeling of insecurity and loss of control adds to our anxiety, and makes things worse.
«I get spots before the eyes. They are not really spots. Funny little transparent shapes. Sometimes curled like a comma or a question mark. I don’t get them all the time. If I am looking down, and then look up, they shoot up, in front of whatever I am looking at. Then if I keep looking there, the spots slowly sink down. If I keep looking where I was, there are no spots. But if I look down, and look up again, I see them just as before. It’s strange. It makes me worry. I have heard of a person with cancer of his eye. »
These specks seen floating before the eyes are technically known as ‘muscae volitantes’, or ‘flitting flies’. More commonly they are called ‘floaters’. They are due to little bits of sediment in the aqueous compartment of the eyeball. When the eye is still, they rest at the bottom, but if we look up quickly they are thrown into the fluid of the compartment in front of our line of vision. If we hold our eye looking upwards, they gradually sink down.
‘Floaters’ are quite harmless, and are of no ill import at all. Usually we become aware of them only when stress increases our perception of things that normally would not reach our consciousness. As the stress is relieved, we are no longer troubled in this way.
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